Life Expectancy Watch

And now, something special for all of you clock watchers out there… The Life Expectancy Watch! Our inventor says; "Life expectancy has been a major concern of people throughout the ages. Insurance companies routinely develop and publish actuarial tables to indicate the average lifespan of certain people in specified groups. This actuarial table data is based on a number of factors, such as overall health of the individual, whether a person smokes cigarettes, consumes excessive alcohol, and genetic factors such as family histories of known diseases and recorded lifespans." End quote.

Yep, that's right, this Life Expectancy Watch actually counts backwards, keeping you apprised of your forthcoming expiration date! You initially program the watch by answering a series of questions about your lifestyle such as exercise, disposition, food consumption and alcohol and tobacco use (big negatives, kids!). Living a healthy lifestyle? This watch has an on/off button so you can stop it temporarily while you engage in a healthy activity (e.g. taking a walk, cleaning the closet, etc.)

But wait, there's more! Your remaining time is conveniently displayed in years, months, days and hours and an audible alarm can be set to remind you of your impending doom. Bottom line… if your therapy bills just aren't high enough, you need to buy this watch. Better hurry, time is running out!